Thursday, August 20, 2009

Target is a black hole

I went in there for a Swiffer Wetjet and some watercolor paint for Addison. As I walked through I remembered that I needed to gather some stuff to make a meal for a friend. Threw it in. Then I thought I would make the same meal for us tonight. Threw that in too. Then I saw coffee creamer on sale. In the cart it went. Then the gum on clearance. Then Addison started doing the potty dance. I quickly grabbed some stuff from frozen and headed to the front. Better grab that Swiffer Wetjet. Uh oh....30% off clearance section. Let's just stop for a sec. What? Oxyclean for half off?! Joy! Now Addison is really dancing. Better hurry. Let her go in by herself while I stay outside with Ainsley. "Moooooom! I can't get out!" Leave Ainsley, run in, figure out how to talk Addison through opening the door. She's holding her skirt in her hands. Ok wash hands. Thank God the sink is low enough to reach. I tell Addison to sit on the floor and put her own skirt on. "Here Ainsley, chew on this pack of gum." Ok checkout! WAIT! THE PAINT! Uh oh better grab a pack of cd's to save pictures on. Roz has been asking for that for months now. "Hmmm pack of 50 for $9.99 or pack of 5 for $3.49. Ok, pack of 50, pack of 50...!" No paint in office supply section. We head to the back of the store where school supplies is. Ainsley is now screaming. Addison sees toys and starts to run away "ADDISON YOU GET OVER HERE OR I WILL LEAVE THIS STORE WITHOUT BUYING PAINT!" Everyone stares at me, but Addison begins walking backwards back towards me. Still no watercolors to be found. What's this? 10 bottles of washable paint. Check the price. $4.99. Fine. We'll get that.

Check out.

"Moo-ooom I'm hungry and thirsty! I'm hungry and thirsty!" Ainsley is still crying. Ok. Buy kid's meal: pb&j, yogurt, icee. Only $2. Nice. Ham sandwich on wheat for me. Flip over the back of the pb&j package. Holy crap! 310 calories! Addison drinks half her cherry icee and then cries because she wants blue instead. "Too bad! You picked red!" I try to nurse Ainsley in the booth with a small blanket. Every so often she yanks the blanket off and I flash whoever is in checkout. We finish eating.

I just cannot muster the energy to go to Aldi to buy the rest of the stuff for the meal.

Round 2!
Ainsley is holding Addison's leftover yogurt tube. Grab bagged salads...yes! They're on sale for $1.29. Phew! Go to back (again), get mozzerella cheese... Hmm...2% or regular? 2% or regular? 2%! Buy overpriced baby yogurt for Ainsley. What a ripoff, but maybe it'll help her gain some weight. Ainsley proceeds to spill yogurt all over herself. Get out wipes, she's screaming because I took her "toy" away. Wipe everything up. Better grab baby food for her too. Head back to baby section. They're out of the brown rice cereal I like to get.

We finally, finally checkout (again) and head home.

I never want to go shopping again.


Amanda said...

Oh my! What a shopping experience! I have SO been there though. :) I hardly ever run errands any more with out John. Just remember, it's just a season. It will get easier when they are older and we can just send them out to do our errands for us!

Anonymous said...

I've banned myself from Target for the sole reason that I can NEVER EVER EVER get out of there for under $100.


Erica said...

Amen! The Clearance section gets me everytime and I feel obligated to check, just incase there is a great deal. I've learned a long time ago if I only need one thing I leave my coupons at home, so I'm not tempted to browse.

Caitlyn said...


Alisha said...

I love your stories. :)

Brenda Blake said...

I love your stories, I even thought about calling you to see if you wanted to go to Target together. Ha! Ha!

I wonder what Target you were at. I swear I was there FOREVER last night. You know how I said I ran out of wipes, well, I went to Target and completely forgot that Luke can only use the Walmart kind, so I thought I'd just grab a small pkg, until I can get to Walmart, well with checking for Playdoh all over the store AND picking up two monkey plates for the kids in the clearance, and looking at kitchen towels...I forgot the blessed wipes!! And never did find playdohs, only the 24 pack kind and I surely don't want that in my house. Oh...and two mid 20 guys walked by and one says to the other, "Whoa! How does that happen?!" and elbows his friend to look over at me. I had one of the BIG carts, where I can strap Luke and Savannah in, and had David in his car seat on top of the cart! I'm sure I was quite the sight! I wanted to pull them by their ears and yell at them that it's what happens when two people fall in love and if you don't stop farting around it might happen to you and you may end up incredibly happy!!

roz said...

Amusing adventure!
BUT....did you get the swifter wetjet?

jenifriend said...

so THAT'S what motherhood looks like!!

Erika said...

I thoroughly enjoyed that story. :) Especially the part about flashing the check-out people.

Keri said...

I am completely exhausted just from reading that.