Haiti

One aspect of my personality that I hadn't realized until recently is that I don't like to dwell on things that aren't...happy. One of my spiritual gifts is mercy, so that probably doesn't make much sense, but maybe I can explain a little better. When something terrible happens to those I love, strangers, animals (even a deer crossing the street), it hurts me very deeply. I often have a difficult time separating myself from them in that moment. I'm there with you. If you're hurting--I'm hurting. When it comes to horrible tragedies like that horrible tsunami, hurricane Katrina and now Haiti, sometimes it's easier (ok not sometimes...all the time) to just not think about it. As a mom of two little ones it's heartwrenching to think of spending several nights roaming the streets looking for your kids (or to imagine your kids roaming the streets looking for you). So I've basically ignored the news articles and the pictures and the statistics and lived in my safe bubble of grocery shopping, playdates and activities. Anytime I've heard of people donating money I feel a brief sense of relief that people are being helped, but then I go back to my day emotionally unscathed.

Until today, when I let myself go there; let myself feel the pain of the mothers who have lost children, children who have lost parents, people who would give anything for something to drink or eat.

I know God gave me the gift of mercy for a reason, and it's not to feel sad all the time: to be some kind of pathetic martyr roaming around in sackcloth and ashes. He made me this way so I'd PRAY. and help. and care. and love. And quit thinking about me me me me me me me me day in and day out.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

1 Corinthians 1:3-4

Anyway, I know this isn't my usual silly kind of posting, friends; it's just what's been on my heart. Thanks for listening. I hope you know that I'm here to walk any road with you. I hope you know that even if we don't talk for weeks on end, even if we haven't seen each other in ten years, that I think about you. And care.

Love,
Marie

Observations

Things I never imagined I'd be saying:

-Ainsley get away from the trash!
-Ainsley don't eat that diaper!
-Ainsley don't climb on the dishwasher!
-Ainsley we don't eat catfood!
-Ainsley quit digging in the trash!
-Diaper cream is not for eating Ainsley!
-Ainsley don't eat Huck's tail! That's not nice (don't tell the cat policewoman who monitors my site)!
-For the love of God, child, get OUT OF THE TRASH!

And she does it all with that precious, toothy grin. And yes, she's only 11 months old. I'm in some serious trouble!

Some more Ainsley facts:
-She likes pretty much all foods except for cantaloupe, but strawberries, blueberries, canned green beans, and acorn squash are her favorite. Oh, and Ritz Crackers.
-She loves hardboiled and fried eggs, but won't touch them scrambled.
-When she's about to do something bad (usually involving the stairs, trash, or cat food bowls) she takes one step or sticks one hand in, and stares at you for a reaction before proceeding.
-She already knows how to get a nice shriek out of Addison by giving that red hair a nice hard tug.
-She loves to wave and say hi. She also says "Da-Da!" when she sees Devin come in the room. It's pretty cute stuff.

Addison aka "The Sponge" has to know...everything.

"Mom, where are you going?"
"Who were you talking to? What did they say?"
"What's that in your mouth? Can I have some?"
"Where did you go?"
"What were you doing in there?"
"What are they doing? Where are their clothes?" ---uh oh. No more Grey's Anatomy in front of Addison....ever.
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
Oh and yes, I have resorted to "because I said so" more times than I'd like to admit.

One nice thing about having such an observant child is that she notices everything about Ainsley too, which helps when I am not so observant, like when Ainsley found my gum this morning. Truthfully Addison has had a very joyful spirit lately. Last night I made Amanda's Italian Sausage Bow-Ties and Addison said "That was a yummy dinner Mommy! Thanks for making it!!" after eating every single bite. After months and months of "I don't like that." and "I don't like this dinner." and "This dinner doesn't taste good" her little compliment made my day.

Here's a picture my friend Brenda took of us a month or so ago:















I'm so grateful the temps have climbed back up a bit. As much as I love Kansas, our weather is just the worst. 6 degrees. Ridiculous. Amanda and John drove up from Georgia last week and we had such a wonderful time together. We took one afternoon to visit Heather over at Children's Mercy. When we checked in they printed off a photo badge for Amanda but a regular one for me. I whispered obnoxiously "it's because you're Amish!" Some things never change, and Amanda is a good sport to let me embarrass her...still. Anyway, one visit a year is just not enough.

Goodnight!

First movie

A few weeks ago some wonderful friends and I decided to take our girls to see The Princess and the Frog. None of the girls had seen a movie in the theater before. In fact, when we were paying at the ticket desk Addison asked me if we could watch it at home. She thought we went there to buy the movie to watch on our tv. You should have seen her face as we walked into the theater with the huge screen.

It definitely wasn't on the same scale as The Little Mermaid or Cinderella, but the Princess and the Frog was a pretty great movie. It was funny (and a little sad) and had great music. There were a few scary parts, but Addison didn't seem to phased. The only issue she had was being closed up in her seat because she couldn't keep the chair down. Devin was laughing at me because when we lived in Manhattan we drove all the way to Olathe's AMC 30 to see Return of the King because Manhattan's theater was just not suitable. For this movie I picked Cinemark because it was the cheapest. ;)

Here are some pics of our little adventure:

nostalgia

I love Christmas. I love everything about this time of year. I love the street not far from me that has filled their lawn and house with every kind of lawn ornament and light display known to man. I love the food, the music, the tv specials, the shopping, my 8' tall waving Santa, Devin's holiday work party that has the same food every single year (I don't think engineers believe in variety) etc. etc. etc. As much as I love this time of year, I also get a small feeling of sadness in the pit of my stomach: I miss the memories. Here are my favorites:

-Opening up one gift on Christmas eve after church. It was inevitably new pajamas.
-The first time Eric and I really got to experience snow in Hinesville, GA. We didn't own any snowpants, but we came inside and watched Gummy Bear Adventures and drank hot chocolate while our jeans were in the dryer.
-Receiving my Barbie dreamhouse with the elevator
-Bon bons and Candy cane cookies that my mom makes
-My Christmas band concerts in middle school. I felt like some serious hot stuff playing "Jingle Bells" on my clarinet in my white shirt, black jeans and cumberbund.
-Christmas Eve services at various military chapels that always ended w/ dripping candles and "Silent Night."
-Learning the alto part to Carol of the Bells in madrigals senior year and singing in Old Ellicott City (MD). Hearing that song still gives me goosebumps. I love it!
-Going sledding senior year of high school with Dan and Leigh Ayn. I'm sure if you know her like I know her, you can imagine the facial expressions and screaming noises she made going down that hill.
-Exchanging Christmas gifts with Amanda A WHOLE MONTH EARLY in college.
-Christmastime in the dorms at K-State. They always put on this fabulous Christmas dinner for us and finals week was such a fun week of celebrating.
-Junior year of college when Aunt Shel sent my gift to my house in KS. It was taped shut with "DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THIS EARLY! I KNOW HOW YOU ARE!" slathered all over in black permanant marker. You know I had that bad boy ripped open in about 30 seconds! ;)
-Driving to visit the Rileys my sr. year of high school (a few days after Christmas) to see Devin, who was home from college. I was SO excited to see him. Every now and then I look at him, and am amazed and thankful that I get to spend the rest of my life with this man who made my heart jump out of my chest.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Christmas Letter 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. We hope this letter finds you doing well, but this letter really isn't about you is it?

Devin is still an engineer at Johnston Burkholder Associates.

Marie still stays home with the kids and works part-time at Baby Gap.

Now onto our little geniuses:

Addison, 3 (but she can tell you that herself in English AND Spanish) is growing like a weed. Devin and I are in awe at her intelligence. While most kids are just drawing scribbles at this age, Addison is able to color completely in the lines. Her attention to detail astounds us: she doesn't just draw a sun, but adds eyes and a smile as well. She spends her days composing music, practicing spatial analysis, and creating scientific hypotheses. She is in the gifted and talented program at both the gym kid's club and our church preschool. She is also becoming a talented gymnast. We are planning on hiring a personal coach to get her ready for the 2020 Olympic Games. We are proud to say that she is smarter than all of our friends' children and we let her know this on a daily basis. Because Addison is so intelligent, we hope to enroll her in 1^st grade next fall, skipping preschool and kindergarten.

While Ainsley (10 months) isn't quite as smart as Addison, she is still a delightful little baby. She barely makes a peep, only to request her daily serving of kale with flaxseed (in sign language of course). Ainsley is also in the gifted and talented program in the church nursery, and we our keeping our fingers crossed that she'll make the honor roll at our gym's kids club. She is already able to say ma ma, da da, and guh guh, so we have placed her on the waiting list at the local montessori preschool. Because her diet is so balanced, Ainsley has never spit up or had a leaky diaper. Her b.m.'s are always round and perfectly formed. Like Addison, Ainsley is outperforming her peers in all areas. We are truly proud parents.

Our strict schedules with the girls doesn't allow for much time socially, especially now that we are trying to get a head start on college applications, but let us know if you are in the area. We'd love to squeeze in some time for you (maybe).

Happy Holidays!

Warmly,

Devin, Marie, Addison and Ainsley

;)

28

Ten years ago...

I was turning 18. I had already been through so much in my life at that point, and had already learned so many life lessons that I pretty much thought I had life figured out. HA!

I was already in love with Devin Riley, but also dating someone else too. Devin won. I think I made a very good decision.

I was pondering moving back to Kansas and going to K-State so I could be with Devin and Amanda, or staying in Maryland. A few months later I chose Kansas, and 9 years later, I am still happy with this decision.

I was trying to figure out what to do with my life, when deep down inside I knew all I wanted to be was a mom.

I worked at Baby Gap.

I wasn't the least bit active. Since then I have climbed 5 fourteeners, braved spin class and figured out how to run for longer than 3 minutes without wanting to die.

I considered myself a really good singer. Now the only people I sing to are my two little girls, and my repetoire includes songs like "Ba ba ba ba...thank you God for baby Jesus."

I was meeting Devin's family for the very first time. I sat on the couch and watched the Disney Channel with Daniel and Caitlyn. When I returned home from the trip I told my mom that I wanted to be part of that family.

I was more interested in hanging out with my friends than my parents. Now my parents are my friends.

I loved to make people laugh and have a great time. Still true.

I discovered The Cheesecake Factory.

I was late to just about everything and trying to figure out how to not be. I used to stop at Dunkin Donuts and get coffee for my 1st period teacher so she'd excuse me for being tardy. Maybe I'll have this figured out by birthday #38.

I had two piercings in each ear. Since then I've had an eyebrow ring and my first tattoo.

I felt God's whispers of love and grace, even though I had no room for him in my life. I'm so thankful for a God that forgives all things.

Those are my memories. What do you remember the most about me through the years?

Addison's Art

I'm sure lots of other kids drew boobs on their good samaritan pictures too and not just my daughter, right? Maybe? Hopefully? Please!