For a friend

This is dedicated to Natasha who needs something pee your pants funny to laugh at. Nat, I hope this does the trick!

Hot pink reminder

Addison loves to have her nails painted. She's so cute about showing them off to everyone and choosing sandals to highlight her newly painted feet. The only problem is that every single time I try to paint them something happens. Something spills, or she smears it on my pants, or on the carpet. The other day she begged me to paint them and frankly the dirt under her toenails was kind of grossing me out (no one wants to be the mom of the "dirty kid" at the 24 hour fitness kids club, not even me). I sat her in her little chair, set the polish out of the way a little and got started. Well miss squirmy pants got a little too excited and kicked over the pink nailpolish. I flipped out. FLIPPED OUT! As a mom you know when you've gone too far with yelling, and I totally did. It would be one thing if that only happened once in a blue moon and every other incident you are June Cleaver. I'm not. More often than not I'm Mr. Hyde if Mr. Hyde was a pale, out of shape, housewife still in his pajamas at 12:00 in the afternoon.

I watched Dr. Phil today (just the icing on the cake of my little analogy up there!) and it was about a dad who was too tough on his son. The little boy was 9, afraid of his father and was already growing to resent him. Addison knows how much I love her now, and is quick to bounce back NOW, but how long will that last? How many times will I blow up at her for spilling something or drawing on the couch or cutting the cat's hair (ok that one was kind of funny) or whatever it is that makes me blow a fuse before she starts to resent me? Or maybe it won't get to be that bad, but to the point where she'll know I'm not serious until I start screaming. That Dr. Phil show was a really good wake up call for me.

The beautiful thing about all of this is it's not too late AND I don't have to conquer this on my own. Let's face it: I suck at doing it on my own!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Anyway, I never was able to get out that hot pink nail polish stain. I tried all types of things: nail polish remover, hydrogen peroxide, window cleaner (don't laugh...that's what about.com said to try!!). I am sure I inhaled some delightfully toxic fumes, but there is still a faint pink mark there. I have to say that I'm even a little ok with that. Not just because our carpet doesn't mean that much to me (which it doesn't), but that it will serve as a little reminder of how I totally over-reacted and how I so desperately want to change.

Thanks for your support and love! Now I'm off to watch 18 Kids and Counting. Michelle Duggar never yells.

Love/Hate

Sometimes I don't like Dave Ramsey. It's nothing against him; he's a wonderful person. It's the plan. I know, I know...in the long run it'll be good. But right now, it's stealing all the fun and making me mad!

It's stealing time with my husband because he now chooses to work on all the holidays.
It's making me mad that I have to wear my same old clothes day in and day out.
It's making me mad that my pillows have stains on them and my lampshades don't match.
It's making me feel like a big 'ol mooch every time we do something with my parents because they have to pay because we don't have money for it.
It's making me mad because I'm TIRED OF EVERYTHING ALWAYS BEING ABOUT MONEY (or lack thereof).
It's making me mad because we're so close, yet so far away from the goal of being debt free.

We've been at this for three years in October. I get asked a lot if we ever get discouraged.

YES!

Ok that feels better now. Thanks for letting me vent.

And now for something that always, always cheers me up: